one thing I love...

Last week's rant on one thing I hate was good therapy for me. The incident that led to my blog produced several good results and I have to admit that I probably do my job a little better today than I was doing last week...mostly becasue I have had to think about what it means to manage in my area. So today, I think I will change course and write about one thing I love...

This past week I was able to spend time in Eagle Pass and San Antonio, making visits on friends of the University, renewing relationships and making new relationships. While I consider this an important part of my job (and something I need to be able to "manage"), I also consider it an opportunity and privilege to get to meet and hang out with "really cool people." Whenever I am asked about what I do, I always mention the "really cool people" I get to meet and hang out with. The "really cool people" I got to hang out with this week included a CFO of a Fortune 100 company, a State Farm insurance agent, a University of Texas Business School faculty member, and one of the top commercial real estate developers in Austin. The range of conversation was all over the place - yet they all had several things in common:

• they each had a great story to tell


• they each are passionate about what they do


• they each are some of the best in their fields


• they each are"people" people


• they each have a passion for developing leaders


• they each have a passion for leaders who see the world with a Christian worldview


• they each believe in the mission of Concordia University Texas


• they each see the world as a great place to engage (three cheers for rose-colored glasses!)


• they each love to give back to others


• they each can add value to me and to my institution


• they each are people of faith

I love meeting and connecting with people. For some reason, I think I do this pretty well and it is a blessing for me to know that this is a part of my role and job responsibilities - and that I really love to do it. At the end of the day, if I have connected with one or two different people, I feel it has been a good day and I am energized to continue on in my calling and vocation. As I think about what makes me good at connecting with others, several thoughts come to my mind:

• I'm genuinely interested in other people


• I like to ask questions


• I like to ask really rich questions


• I know that there is much to learn from others


• I like to hear other's stories, especially where they are inspirational


• I think I have an empathetic nature


• I know that I will take something from the conversation to apply to my work and organization


• I know that people like to talk about themselves, and it gives me joy to see others have fun telling theri own stories


• I adhere to the 70-30 rule: I listen 70% of the time and talk 30% of the time


• I work hard to be totally present when i am with someone else

Now here's the rub - how do I balance my love for meeting with "really cool people" and my dispassionate nature around doing "really dull things"? A few thoughts:

1. delegate, delegate, delegate the "really dull things" (because I know those same items are "really cool things" to others)


2. set aside hours (days?) on my calendar to do the "really dull things" that only I can do


3. take the "really dull things" and make them into projects that I consider to be awesome and fun and WOW!


4. let my boss know of this dilemma and allow him to help me manage these two competing interests


5. accept the fact that these two will be in competition for my time and learn to live with that tension


6. decide now that when push comes to shoe, I will ALWAYS choose to meet with "really cool people" over doing "really dull things."

So what is one thing you hate...and one thing you love...and how are you balancing the two in your life?

say...way

I worked with a Pastor many years ago who used to say "Everyone can have their say, but not everyone can have their way." At the time it seemed to make sense, but as I lived with the phrase over a period of time, I realized that it might not be the best advice. "Everyone having their say" began to generate into "Everyone can say what they please," and it would become ugly at times as people believed they had the right to speak their minds in public (and private). I work within an institution where this idea continues - both at public meetings and in private conversations. What has struck me about this belief of everyone having their say is that it does not hold true for EVERYONE in the organization. Those who hold leadership positions do not always get to have their say. Leaders are supposed to remain quiet while others get to rant and rave in whatever form they desire. They can ridicule, they can chastise, they can condemn, they can denigrate, they can "speak their mind" because they believe it is a God-given (American?) right to do so. And as they "have their say" they also hurt people and block forward motion. So what should leaders do when these situations occur?

1. Call people out when they speak inapproriately - if something is said publicly that is hurtful, mean, or just plain wrong, then that person should publicly be told they are wrong and should be asked to apologize and/or re-phrase their comment in public. If this the offense is public, and the reprimand is not, then others will come to believe it is okay to speak in such a manner.
2. Challenge people's thoughts ideas - when people "have their say" there are many times that they are just plain wrong. Leaders need to go to them and point out their error - and then ask for that person to make ammends by admittng their error and letting others know that they were wrong in what they said.
3. Remind people of their calling and vocation - many times when people "have their say" they are putting their nose into areas in which they have no business. God has not called me to save the world - or the church - or the university - or the organization. He has called me to be a good steward of those places; but it is not always my right - or my business - to tell others what to do or how to do it. This can be a fine line when people serve on governing organizations - all the more reason to truly understand the role one plays within an organization.
4. Develop and enforce guidelines for publilc discourse - people need to know what is acceptable behavior within a given organization or public forum. With a demise in civility these days, people believe they have an inherent right to "act out" in public. This can translate into ugly ways of speaking just because people believe they can "have their say." Kindness, humility, and compassion should be prevalent at meetings where people have the right to speak publicly.
5. Teach people how to say, "I may be wrong" - this is a powerful phrase as people engage in discourse that has differing opinions. Since none of us hold the truth ourselves, it is important to know that what we believe and what we have to say might be wrong. Imagine how meetings would go (and organizations would function) if everyone believed and used this phrase.

The challenge leaders face is how to help people understand this concept and still keep dialogue flowing amongst members of any group - whether that dialogue be public or private. Holding these two concepts in balance is never an easy task, and must be dealt with in a careful manner, for fear of stifling thought and conversation. As leaders, we approach individuals who believe they can always "have their say" with the same kindness, humility and compassion we require of them - and we do so with the understanding that we too might be wrong.

meetings, meetings, meeting

Yesterday I sat through three different meetings, all of which were valuable and enjoyable. I am one of the few people I know who actually enjoy meetings - well, at least those that accomplish something. People in a position of leadership need to meet - they need to be calling meetings and they need to be attending meetings. If you are invited to a meeting, by all means GO to that meeting - how else can you have any type of influence. It just hit me that the ones who often complain the loudest are the same ones who never attend meetings...or at least never speak up at meetings (there are exceptions - those who speak up at meetings (read "complain") and never offer solutions).
So if we are spending our time in meetings, we might as well make them the best meetings possible - whether we call the meetings or whether we are attendees. Here are a couple of suggestions for those of us who run meetings:

1. always have an agenda - and if at all possible send it out ahead of time. Wouldn't life be wonderful if everyone who attended meetings came prepared? Pre-planned agendas allow for that to happen.
2. always have a purpose for the meeting - of course, that purpose will shape the agenda, so maybe this should be #1. Wouldn't life be wonderful if at the end of every meeting all the participants could say "we accomplished our purpose."
3. always start and end on time - people's time is valuable. Sometime add up the cost of a meeting you are in by figuring out the hourly salary for each person in the room...you get the idea. Wouldn't life be wonderful if at the end of every meeting people could say "that was really worth our time and effort!"
4. always engage everyone in the room - remember that the meetings is not yours alone - it should belong to the group of people assembled...they should own it as well as you. Of course, they can't own it without an agenda and a purpose, and they need to be prepared. Expect people to come prepared and hold them accountable. Wouldn't life be wonderful if everyone always came to meetings with something to talk about and add to the discussion.
5. create an atmosphere of trust - nothing can be worse than sitting in a meeting on "pins and needles" wondering what bomb is going to go off next - or whether people can say what is really on their minds. As a meeting leader, sometimes you may need to pause and ask, "is there anything else that needs to be said?" and then be quiet. Wouldn't life be wonderful if everyone could speak their mind at meetings - in a way that is honest, true and respectful of those around the table?

A quick word to those who attend meetings but may not be in charge of the agenda and purpose - you still have a crucial role in making meetings productive and valuable. A quick list for meeting attendees:

• prepare - read the agenda, do your homework, and come with questions. If there is no agenda published, assume what the agenda will be and come with the approriate materials
• take notes - that way you will follow up with what needs to be done and you come to the next meeting with a list of things talked about and decided on by the group
• ask questions - try to get the group to go deeper on subjects by asking questions about the topic at hand
• stay awake and alert - if that means standing up and/or getting a cup of coffee, do so unabashedly
• share humor - nothing creates a sense of camaraderie more quickly than laughter. Feel free to insert a joke here and there
• offer your opinion - if attendees do not talk, then the leader will fill the void...and nothing is worse than a meeting where only one person talks
• set the tone (1) - get there early and engage with people in the room. If people are talking with one another before the meeting begins, chances are they will keep talking during the meeting
• set the tone (2) - if you are in a situation where it is approriate, offer to begin with a prayer or blessing. If you cannot do that, offer to share an idea you recently heard - and then ask others what they think about it. Five minutes of discussion around something other than the agenda buidls trust among the group members, allowing them to be more open during the meeting

WOW! 8 ways to influence meetings even if you are not in charge. Go ahead - try it sometime - and see what can happen as you influence meetings toward a greater good. And be sure to read Death by Meeting: A leadership fable to solve the most painful problem in business by Patrick Lencioni. It is a MUST read for those of us who lead - and attend - meetings.