a leader's prayer

John O'Donahue was an Irish priest who died way too early (and suddenly) at the age of 52.  His writings have influenced those who lead both in the church and in the corporate sector.  Toward the end of his life he engaged deeply with business leaders, helping them to bring a sense of "soul and beauty into their leadership and their imagination about the people with whom they work" (O'Donahue, in an interview with Krista Tippet).  On this Good Friday his prayer "For A Leader" is copied below.  May this prayer guide and inspire those who lead with a sense of wonder, awe, mystery, and, having been called to leadership, that they may lead in a manner that gives glory to God and serves the neighbor.

May you have the grace and wisdom

To act kindly, learning
To distinguish between what is
Personal and what is not.

May you be hospitable to criticism.

May you never put yourself at the center of things.

May you act not from arrogance but out of service.

May you work on yourself,
Building up and refining the ways of your mind.

May those who work for you know
You see and respect them.

May you learn to cultivate the art of presence
In order to engage with those who meet you.

When someone fails or disappoints you,
May the graciousness with which you engage
Be their stairway to renewal and refinement.

May you treasure the gifts of the mind
Through reading and creative thinking
So that you continue as a servant of the frontier
Where the new will draw its enrichment from the old,
And may you never become a functionary.

May you know the wisdom of deep listening,
The healing of wholesome words,
The encouragement of the appreciative gaze,
The decorum of held dignity,
The springtime edge of the bleak question.

May you have a mind that loves frontiers
So that you can evoke the bright fields
That lie beyond the view of the regular eye.

May you have good friends
To mirror your blind spots.

May leadership be for you
A true adventure of growth.

perception is not always reality

Leaders spend a lot of time in front of people, often having to lead meetings or deliver speeches of one sort or another.  Whenever I am in front of a group, I am able to observe many reactions of the listeners, some of which energize me and others which can quickly sap my energy.  The nods of agreement, the smiles, and the looks of engagement spur me on as a speaker; the frowns, the roll of eyes, the sighs, or watching people sleep can quickly distract and discourage me.  In a recent event I observed behavior which, at the time, seemed to be very dismissive of what I was trying to say.  Needless to say I was taken aback and, at that moment, faced two decisions - how would I react in the moment and how would I confront later on?

First, the moment: knowing I had to continue, I paused to gather my thoughts and kept going (though it was not easy).  As I look back at that decision, I realized that the pause was more of a breath, something I have learned through regular quiet and meditation.  The breath gave me a chance to step away from what would be my immediate reaction and remember that it was not about me...it was about the people in front of me.  As I finished my talk, I was then able to sit down and gather my thoughts about what I would do next.

Second, for later on: As I walked away from the immediate situation, I began to remember that perception is not always reality.  While I wanted to confront the behavior I had observed, I realized that it was my perception and may or may not have been the reality I believed it to be.  I began to consider the many things that might have occurred to cause this particular behavior and, upon reflection, realized there was no need to confront the behavior or even dwell on it.  It was my perception...it was someone's reality...but it may not have been the reality I believed it to be.

So why it is important for leaders to recognize the difference between perception and reality?  Here are a few thoughts:

• while leaders have a certain agenda, not everyone with whom they speak will have the same agenda.  Reaction to the leader's agenda is manifested in many ways...and it is often about the agenda, not the leader herself.
• leaders can often have fragile egos (it's probably what got them into their positions in the first place).  Managing these egos, especially in a public setting, can be hard work...and they have to be managed so as not to derail the speaker and his message.
• leaders can be very focused and, when distracted from their goal, can get irritable.  Perception (real or not) has a way of distracting people from what they are attempting to accomplish.
• taking the time to consider what things might be (rather than what one believes they are) can keep people from acting in ways or saying things that could be hurtful.  Consider the alternatives before confronting the situation.
• learning to breathe in the moment can turn a tense situation into a moment of clarity and continued dialogue.  There is much to be learned from the practice of meditation that can serve one's needs throughout the day.

Understanding and believing that perception is not always reality is something I believe that leaders should practice and improve at over time.  Thinking through one's day and considering alternative realities; bouncing possible realities off of a colleague; and reminding oneself over and over that perception is not always reality can provide a framework in which leaders react less quickly and keep themselves focused and on track for what matters.

a leader's prayer

I often refer to my daily prayer book, written by John Baillie and entitled A Diary of Private Prayer.  This book, given to me by my friend and colleague Rev. Walt Waiser in May of 2012, has become part of my habit and routine most mornings of the week.  Each prayer (one for each day of the month) speaks to me in a  different manner each time I read it, depending on what is happening in my life and in the world around me.  So the final line of this morning's prayer stood out in a new way:

And whatever I myself can do, give me grace to begin.

One of the things leaders must consistently remind themselves of is to do the work that only they can do.  This is not so much about delegation as it is the needs of the institution they serve.  Whether it is by means of title and position or by means of giftedness and talent, leaders need to focus on the tasks that only they can - and should - do.  As I look over my desk at this moment, I am amazed at (afraid of?) the number of tasks that lay before me, each calling my attention and time.  When this feeling emerges within me, I need to step back and ask the question, "what is it that only I can do, and how might I delegate, distribute, or dismiss any of these other items?"  Not always an easy task, as I (and many others in leadership roles) feel a responsibility to take on new projects and look for the kudos that come upon completion of those projects.  And so I must consistently remind myself and pray the words and whatever I myself can do, give me grace to begin.

Amid the piles of tasks that lay in front of me,  there are those items which loudly call out for my attention, those that lay dormant for weeks or months, and those that I would rather not see or act upon.  Human nature tends to focus on those items that bring most pleasure, and so my tendency is to reach for that item which I enjoy doing.  That item which perhaps needs the most attention is put to the bottom of the pile for "another day."  And of course, as "another day" passes by, it soon becomes "another week," and the process of feeling guilt and remorse begins.  It is at these moments in which I need to remind myself and pray the words and whatever I myself can do, give me grace to begin.  It is when I finally begin that I find the energy to focus and complete the task before me...the task that only I can do.

The leader's prayer is many and varied, depending on the time, day, and circumstance that presents itself to the leader and the organization.  Perhaps this is the prayer when deadlines loom (or better when those deadlines are farther out), when the piles get too high (or before they begin to grow), and when the amount or type of work to be done seems overwhelming (or when the work is still manageable).  It is at these times that leaders can pray and whatever I myself can do, give me grace to begin, knowing that they have been called to this role to do the work that only they themselves can do...and that God's grace invites them to jump into the mess and begin the work that lay ahead.

a leader's ROI

As the leader of an organization, I am expected to move my organization forward, making it a better place tomorrow than it is today.  The institution has invested in me and, all things being equal, they expect to see a return on that investment.  At the end of each day, I must look in the mirror and ask myself whether or not my multiple activities have actually produced a return on investment for the university.  Did the meetings I attended move the institution forward? Did the visits I made provide something for the institution either now or in the future? Did the time spent answering emails make us a better place?  Did the time invested in writing a report help to ensure the organization's future?

Leaders of organizations or groups should be doing a regular assessment of their time and activities to make sure that the people who entrusted leadership to them are being well served.  As individuals are in their leadership roles over time, the demands on their schedule get more and more frequent...and many of those demands can be quite enticing including being asked to serve on boards, meetings with people who are seeking advice, and trips to locations far and wide.  So how might a leader take inventory of their time to ensure that the activities in which they are engaged are actually adding value?  Here are a few thoughts:

• do more people (and especially the right people) know and understand the organization and its mission?
• did the decisions made actually make the institution better?
• are employees and/or customers more satisfied?
• will the day's activities produce more revenue (either now or in the future)?
• am I better equipped to make decisions moving forward?
• are more people empowered to lead and make decisions themselves?
• have I served the greater good, even beyond one's own organization (and is the organization okay with that)?
• did the day's activities help to ensure the long run for the institution?
• will the organization not have to be dealing with the same issue a year from now?
• have I caused no harm to people, both internal and external to the organization?
• do others feel more pride in the organization because of the day's work?

This list could go on and on yet, at the end of the day, the same question remains: what was the return to the organization for its investment in me?  Leaders who can answer this question will keep moving themselves and their organization forward; leaders who do not consider this question will find themselves and their organizations remaining stagnant.  What type of leader do you want to be?

fiercely loyal or blindly loyal

Leaders need to be loyal...loyal to their organizations, loyal to their team members, loyal to their customers, loyal to their missions, and loyal to their investors or board members.  A leader's loyalty is seen and felt by the other members of the organization and sets a tone of trust across the institution.  Or does it?

Being fiercely loyal is something each member of a team wants from their leader - to know that they are trusted; to know that they are important; to know that the leader has their back; and to know that they are a part of something bigger than themselves. Loyalty from one's leader feels good and can lead to a higher level of production from other team members.  But when does loyalty move from fierce to blind?  When are leaders blindly loyal to someone or something for which there should be no loyalty?  Or when does the leader recognize that their fierce loyalty has become blind loyalty and a change needs to be made for the good of the team and the organization as a whole?  Here are a few thoughts:

• when complaints about a team member become common and regular and the leader finds themselves defending that person's behavior, the leader should begin wondering if they are practicing blind loyalty
• when team members begin blaming others rather than looking at themselves, the leader should begin wondering if they are practicing blind loyalty
• when a team member begins to become more and more marginalized, either of their own accord or the engagement by others, the leader should begin wondering if they are practicing blind loyalty
• when a leader finds themselves becoming angry when others suggest better ways of doing things, the leader should begin wondering if they are practicing blind loyalty
• when people are hurt by the actions of others and the leader fails to address the hurt, the leader should begin wondering if they are practicing blind loyalty
• when decisions begin to be made in isolation and are defended on accord of the person's position, the leader should begin to wonder if they are practicing blind loyalty

As leaders ask themselves whether they are fiercely loyal of blindly loyal, and as they take stock of how the organization is behaving in the points noted above, they will have the chance to act on that loyalty.  Making hard decisions about personnel, policies, and practices will provide to the organization the answer to whether the leader is fiercely loyal or blindly loyal...and that can make all the difference in the world.