servant or self-serving?

In a discussion with a colleague earlier this week, the idea came up of the difference between servant leadership and self-serving leadership...and what may be a supposed fine line between the two.  Of course, very few people would admit to engaging in self-serving leadership and would claim that they were all about servant leadership; very few people would want to be known as self-serving leaders and would rather be lauded as servant leaders; very few people would be able to recognize self-serving leadership in themselves and would be quick to point out how they are actually practicing servant leadership; and very few people understand the difference between the two, especially in themselves.  Even as I write this blog and think about this topic, I am putting myself at risk of being seen as someone who might be more self-serving than a servant in my own leadership.

So what might the difference look like?  And is it possible to be both a servant leadership and self-serving at the same time?  What follows are a few ideas about the differences between the two:

• Pride: leaders should take pride in their work and the execution of strategy for their organization.  Where that pride is placed is one indicator of whether one is a servant or self-serving leader
• Recognition of Others: when leaders recognize the accomplishments of others, is the end result a stronger and more constructive organization or is it only that more people appreciate the leader mentioning their names?
• Execution: as strategy is rolled out and executed upon, do others thank the leader for their vision and determination or do they look around and thank each other?
• Communication: who is at the center of the story the majority of the time? and who determines what gets said, when it is said, and how it is said?
• Decision Making: how does the leader react when decisions are made outside of her or his purview? are decisions mostly centralized or pushed out to others?
• Vision: Is the vision about something bigger and more aggrandizing? or is the hero of the story the client or the one being served?

While none of these ideas are exact and readily seen or known, they begin to give an indication of whether or not one is a servant leader or a self-serving leader.  The paradox of this concept is that in order to serve others, leaders may have to act at times in a manner that is perceived as self-serving.  One of the things I tell up-and-coming leaders is that they must be able to embrace the paradox that it is all about them AND not at all about them.  This is not an exact science...there are no 21 rules or 7 habits of determining whether one is being a servant or self-serving...and it would not be fair to determine for someone else, based on these concepts, whether they are a servant or self-serving leader.  My hope is that as I have thought about this concept, so will you.  And, when looking in the mirror, you will be able to tell the difference and begin to shape yourself more toward being a servant for those you lead.

when disagreements arise

Leaders will have disagreements with others...and others will have disagreements with leaders.  That is the nature of leadership, as decisions are made with which others will disagree.  It may be the actual decision; it may be how the decision was executed; or it may be that they were not included in the decision making process.  The only way to avoid disagreement with others is to not make decisions, and that could even lead to disagreement by those who want decisions made.

Given that disagreement will occur, how might leaders best handle those situations?  Here are a few thoughts:

• Consider what is behind the primary motive of the disagreement: what is causing one to disagree with the decision made? Is the disagreement coming from a place of hurt, being left out, differences of opinion, or just plain stubbornness?  Understanding the motive helps in directing and shaping the conversation
• Is the disagreement around values or operations? if there is a misunderstanding or clash around the values of the organization (or the individuals) the conversation takes a much different tone than if it is merely around how a decision was carried out.  A conversation between two people who agree on the ends but not necessarily the means is very different than a conversation between two people who fundamentally see the world through opposite lenses
• Consider the intensity of the disagreement (for both you and the other person): if the intensity of the disagreement is low, it may be possible to let it go and allow time to bring about equilibrium.  If the intensity is high, then it is imperative to seek understanding and work to restore equilibrium to the relationship
• Seek to know what one does not know: when disagreements arise, there is more than likely an unmet expectation on the part of one of the parties involved.  Work to uncover the information that might be missing from your thinking and help others understand what might be missing from their thinking
• Learn something from the disagreement: when leaders seek first to understand before being understood (thank you Stephen Covey) there is almost always something that can be learned which allows them to change their thinking and adjust their behavior. Enter the learning process with the understanding that "I might be wrong" and move into a learning mode rather than a defensive mode

As I typed the above five thoughts, it struck me that many leaders might be adverse to disagreement with others and, over time, back away from making the difficult decisions.  Making difficult (and sometimes not so difficult) decisions will cause disagreements to arise.  How leaders handle those disagreements can be the hallmark of their leadership and impact their relationships with others.

5 books that impacted my leadership in 2017

I had originally intended to write about the five books I read this past year that impacted my leadership and, as I looked thought my list of books read, realized that is was the books that I had (for the most part) read in the past (and dipped into this year) that had most affected my leadership in 2017.  So here is the list of five books that most impacted my leadership in 2017 (with no particular order of importance or impact):

• Henry V  by William Shakespeare: One of my go-to leadership texts, Henry V is the story of a man who is thrust into leadership and reflects on the role in a meaningful and realistic manner.  Henry's soliloquy on the loneliness and responsibility of leadership (act 4, scene 1) is a sober reminder of what it takes to lead and the steadiness one needs in the face of others' comments and thoughts.  Prior to the battle of Agincourt (act 4, scene 3), Henry inspires his army by reminding them that they and their actions will be remembered because of the hard work they will have done.  This particular speech was a go-to of mine as decisions were made and executed throughout the year.
• The Book of Job: this book in the Old Testament is a reflection on trusting in God, moving through the hard times, and doing the work with and among friends. Not necessarily an easy text to read, this book is full of paradoxical thinking and requires a re-thinking of how God works in our lives to bring about the Kingdom.  Job has no reason for continuing to believe and trust in God, much less a reason for living; despite urging from his friends and family to abandon God and move on with his life, Job remains faithful (though in a curious sort of way) and in the end has a greater understanding of God, himself, and others.  My favorite translation is the one by Stephen Mitchell, published by Harper-Collins and written in 1987.
• The Four Disciplines of Execution by Chris McChesney: my team knows that this is my bible of execution and shows up regularly at our strategy reviews and executive team meetings.  A simple (and not so simple) approach to executing strategy throughout the organization, this text provides both a philosophy of execution and specific approaches and tools the organization can use to take in make things happen.  Whenever I feel myself (or others) slipping into a mode of complacency and not being able to execute, I return to this book to see where we are failing to stay on track and address the necessary steps to start executing again.
• Art and Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland: I love finding books that take a topic seemingly unrelated to leadership and finding new and hidden gems on how it speaks to the role of leaders in a new and unique way.  Art and Fear is one of those texts for me as the authors consistently remind me why leaders are unable to make and execute on hard decisions.  The tension that exists for artists between the ideal and the actual also exists for leaders...and the ability to manage that tension is one of the hallmarks of good leadership.  Simply substituting the words "making decisions" for "creating art" makes this a text on leadership and provides the reasons why leaders often fail in their roles.
• Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu: this text, written in the 3-4 centuries BC, keeps drawing me back year after year to more deeply understand the complexities and the paradoxes of leadership.  The 80-some short poems each have something to say to leaders who take seriously their roles of courageous execution of strategy and compassionate caring for people.  Similar to the Book of Job, this is not easy reading and should be done in short bit and pieces, taking the time to contemplate and meditate on what the author is really saying.  One of my favorite sections is #11, where the author unpacks the idea that what is not present is what actually causes the action to happen (yes, you will need to read it to better understand what I am trying to say).  My favorite translation is by Jonathan Starr as a part of the Tarcher Cornerstone editions.

That's my list!  If you have read any of these before, I challenge you to read them again through leadership lenses.  If they are new to you, find time this year to read them, many of which can be read over time.  And finally, I challenge you to come up with your own list of five books that are your go-to leadership texts.  Which ones, over time, have influenced you the most and that you keep going back to, especially at those times that might be the most challenging?  A blessed New Year to all!