the three T words

Trust-Truthfulness-Transparency...or is it Truthfulness-Transparency-Trust...or is it Truthfulness-Trust-Transparency?  I was considering which one of these comes first and whether or not one actually does come before the others and which one was most important and...well, you get the idea.  These three "T" words are so important in developing a culture of openness and creating an environment in which people can do their best work.  It seems so easy to be open, honest and truthful - didn't our moms remind us to always tell the truth?  And yet, in an organization where there is little trust or transparency, it becomes difficult to tell the truth.  And if truth-telling is not rewarded (and maybe even punished), there will be no trust and people will hide their true selves from others.  So where does one begin?

In my world, I always begin with trust.  I know that the little voice in our heads says "I will trust you when you have earned it" but I have always been a renegade in this area.  I like to begin with GIVING TRUST which I believes allows people to be more truthful and transparent.  Because most of the world makes others earn trust, giving trust is new to people and often they are unsure how to act.  It has been fun in my career to watch people quickly let down their guard and become more transparent once they realize they have been given trust.  At that moment the conversation changes, the relationship deepens, and the commitment increases.  It does not take long for trust to be developed on both sides of the table.

On the other hand, when I give trust, I expect transparency and truthfulness from the other person.  I give trust so that they can trust me as well, which allows them to be transparent and truthful with me (and with the organization at large).  When someone is not truthful with me, trust is quickly broken and the relationship becomes damaged. I think the reason these three words are so important to me is because they are about establishing and building a relationship - and they are VERY personal.  Neither word can really exist without the other two in any relationship, be it at the workplace or at home.

Finally, I have come to understand that for some people (maybe many people) trust is very difficult to give or to receive because of past life experiences.  Because relationships are so personal, if one has been hurt through a breech of trust, transparency or truthfulness, it is not easy to be trusting, truthful,or transparent with others.  It is my hope that an organization that has a culture of trust, transparency, and truthfulness might be a place of healing for people where they will see a different type of behavior that allows for healthy relationships to be established and built...and that can make all the difference in the world.

talking to myself

This past Wednesday I drove from Dallas to San Antonio and then home to Austin, spending about 6 hours in the car all by myself.  I love that time because it gives me the opportunity to think and plan...and most of it is done through talking out loud to myself.  I often imagine what others might think when they drive past me, watching my lips move but not having anyone next to me.  I have found that my best thinking is done when I can actually talk to myself out loud.  I have tried to relegate my thinking time to when I work out...but I am too concentrated on how hard it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I have tried to relegate my thinking time to sitting on the plane...but often times I just want to sleep,  I have tried to relegate my thinking time to a specific block on my calendar...but the items on my desk keep distracting me.  So I have settled on the time to do my best thinking in the car...where I am alone and can talk to myself.

So why am I including this in a blog about leadership...what does talking to myself have to do with how one leads?  Here are a few thoughts as you consider the importance of thinking, speaking, and leading:

• leaders need time to think - concentrated, longer periods of time when there is no interruption from others or distractions calling out to you
• leaders need time to speak out loud - putting the right words together to get a point across can make all the difference int he world
• leaders need time to consider alternatives - in the midst of a long  drive, many different plans can emerge around one dilemma.  Being able to think about them and hear them out loud helps in making a decision
• leaders need time to practice - going over what I am going to say (either publicly or to an individual) gives me confidence before going into a situation
• leaders need time to reflect - going over  the decisions that had been made that day provides a time to consider the WHY of what you did or did not do
• leaders need affirmation - while I would never rely on self-affirmation, sometimes we need to pat ourselves on the back and rejoice over the decisions made during the day

Next time you catch yourself talking to yourself, don't be embarrassed...embrace it as your way of preparing yourself for leading.  However, I would caution you to find a quiet place to do so, be it a car, a room off the beaten path, or deep in the woods.  I would not be happy if, sitting next to you on a plane, you would be doing your best thinking out loud.

what's new with you?

Over the course of the past few weeks as I have visited with friends and family, I often get asked the question “How is it going?” The assumption behind the question is that I will have much to share about the new role and how life as the CEO at Concordia University Texas is moving forward.  Saying “It’s going well” never seems quite enough (and on those days when it does not go so well, I’m not sure I want to go into details).  As I answer the question, I find myself slipping into tried and true responses that may or may not really say much about how it REALLY is going, which has prompted me to think differently about the question and the answer.  Maybe more than “how’s it going?” the question is more of “what’s new with you?” and maybe even more so “how are you different?”

As people take on new leadership roles, a change begins to happen – or at least a change SHOULD begin to happen.  While leaders who take on these roles should remain the same person, there are things that change:

• broader perspective
• different alliances
• shifting responsibilities
• realigned loyalties
• new financials
• more meetings
• less sleep

As we begin this New Year, I would encourage you (and myself) to think about how each of these impacts the way we lead – and the way we think about ourselves as leaders.  This change in thinking and behaving does not happen naturally – some of the changes are fundamental shifts and are often difficult to achieve.  Remember the “Peter Principle” of being promoted to one’s area of incompetence…leaders who take on new roles do not fail because they do poor work; they fail because they struggle to make the shift from their previous role.  This is why leadership coaches, mentors, and consultants are important as people make this shift.  Having someone ask the hard questions and holding the mirror up can help make the transition smoother (at least as smooth as these transitions can be).  So as this New Year begins, consider how you will answer the question of “How’s it going?” or “What’s new with you?” next time it is asked.  I hope your answer will surprise the other person…and maybe even surprise you!

the 56th time

As I turned toward the center of the church on Christmas Eve to hear the second chapter of the Gospel of Luke being read regarding the birth of Jesus Christ, I realized that I was hearing the same passage being read for the 56th time in my life (I may not remember the first several, but you can bet I was in church during those years).  On this day, the 56th Christmas Eve service I had attended, I was hearing the same words spoken..."And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed..."  I have to admit that hearing the words spoken in the King James Version is still my favorite.  I will put up with the NIV or the ESV, but I am never so happy as when I hear the story spoken in the language in which I had come to memorize those words.  And so as I listened, I was again enthralled with the story of the birth of Jesus as told by Luke.

So what does this have to do with leadership?  I read somewhere (perhaps it was something by Peter Drucker) that said when people get tired of hearing about the mission, you have just begun talking about it.  The STORY of your organization must be told over and over again...and it is best if it is done in a way that resonates with everyone.  To tell the STORY (the organization's mission, vision, values, and culture) is critical to keeping the STORY alive.  Part of it is its history...part of it is its successes...part of it is its day-to-day workings...and part of it is the story that reminds people of why you do what you do.

When I heard the words "And it came to pass..." I began reciting the words inwardly to myself because I knew them so well.  Would it be the same way in your organization?  Can people recite the story to themselves and others?  Do they know what the story is?  When they gather, is there an anticipation that the story will be told again?  Does the story remind them of the importance of what they do - and how they do it?

What is your organization's story - and how important is it for the people to hear it over and over again?  What milestone is celebrated each year so that the story can be told in its entirety?  For us, the beginning of a new school year marks that time...yet I will never pass up the opportunity to remind people of the story - and why it is important to the institution.  part of my job is too ensure that the story is kept alive.  What will you do in the new year to keep your organization's story alive?

four cups of coffee

People often refer to the Starbucks down the street from our campus as my "second office." I can be seen there once or twice a week meeting people for coffee and having a lively conversation.  I mentioned to someone the other day that I could write my personal history over the past six years from the conversations that have happened there.  Those "cups of coffee," whether they happened at Starbucks or other places (and may not have even included coffee), have made me the person I am today.  I had four different "cups of coffee" yesterday that I believe are important for people to have on a regular basis...

• Cup of Coffee #1 - someone outside your comfort zone: this is a person who comes from a different background, different culture, different ethnicity, or anything "different" which makes you a but uneasy.  When I encounter these situations, I sometimes even find it difficult to ask questions because I am unsure of the norms in the other person's life.  These are conversations which you enter into with courage, humility, and the deep sense that you are about to learn something both about the other person and yourself.
• Cup of Coffee #2 - someone who can mentor you: this person is often much smarter than you, has a higher level of experience than you, and has been where you want to be.  I am not referring to a formal mentor here; rather this is someone you encounter by chance and have the opportunity to have a dialogue, or someone you invite for that cup of coffee and come with a host of questions.  These are conversations which you enter into with a multitude of questions and ready to listen intently, knowing you may never get this opportunity again.
• Cup of Coffee #3 - someone you can mentor: again, I am not necessarily talking about a formal mentoring relationship; rather, this is someone with whom you get to share knowledge, help them clarify their thinking, discuss accountability issues, or get to think out loud together.  What I love most about these "cups of coffee" is the ability for me to clarify my own thinking about certain subjects,  These are conversations which you enter into with the intent of being 100% present for the other person and creating an atmosphere of trust and respect.
• Cup of Coffee#4 - someone in your inner ring: this is a "safe" person who allows you to be yourself and with whom you can share your deepest struggles and joys.  I have found these conversations occur most often at the end of the day and are often around a beverage other than coffee.  This is where you get to ask the really hard questions, where you might get some really tough feedback, and where it is okay to let your guard down.  These are conversations which you enter into with complete candor and openness (often referred to as "vault" conversations).

As I look back at the past several weeks, there are many times I get to have all four cups of coffee in a single day...and there are times where they are spread out over a week's worth of conversations.  What I do know is that they do not happen without some planning...and without my invitation.  How many cups of coffee will you have today?

clearness counts

Writing a weekly blog can be an arduous task, having to come up with new ideas week after week.  That is why I am grateful when I come across another blog that provides fodder for me - both in writing and in my daily experience.  I was recently introduced to The Accountability Blog written by Linda Galindo, and this week's topic was entitled "Wishy-Washy is a Thing...Leader be Clear!"  I read it right before heading into a meeting in which I realized I had been less than clear (okay, I may even have been wishy-washy).  It was important for me to send a clear message so that goals could be accomplished.  What I began to understand after reading Linda's post was that clearness counts.  So today's blog is more of Linda Galindo's ideas rather than mine, with a few twists and turns from my own experience.  Here's what I learned:

1. Don't be unrealistic - this would include setting realistic goals, understanding the players involved and what they can do, and knowing your culture.  If what you want to have happen can't yet happen, don't expect it to happen (at least not right away).
2. Tell them what you want - those great ideas in your head need to get translated into tangible tasks and results.  This would include goals, mileposts along the way, reporting structures, and ways of behaving.
3. Culture is critical - this is a great opportunity to build the culture you want...but if you don't say what the culture should look like, then others are guessing what you want it to be.  For example, be sure people understand whether you want decisions made as a team or in a chain of command.
4. Know your team - While I may be a person who likes a suggestive style, others may need more clear directions (specific deliverables at specific times).  Don't frustrate the team by only acting in a manner in which you are comfortable.
5. Ask for and expect pushback - nothing is more frustrating than having members of the team walk away without fully owning the decisions made at that time.  Make sure that everyone has a chance to express their frustrations and misunderstandings so that clarity happens for the entire group.
6. Don't be afraid to be clear - sometimes this means that you need to state very boldly what you expect and what the consequences are for not meeting those expectations.  That way no one is surprised by what happens later in the process.

One of the reasons leaders are successful is that they are comfortable with ambiguity and are able to live in a "gray" world without going crazy...and one of the reasons leaders are NOT successful is that they stay in that "gray" and ambiguous world, even when trying to be clear.  Remember that you are not the one carrying out the operations of the organization, so if you want to get things done, remember that clearness counts.

hugging tornadoes

I have to admit mascots scare me...I never know who is inside and they are always so happy.  So you can imagine what courage it took for me to hug our Concordia Tornado mascot this past Wednesday as we were breaking ground for our new softball field on campus.  While I might be smiling in the picture, there was a bit of fear and terror going on inside of me.  I have come to learn who was inside that mascot uniform...and my fear has greatly subsided.  However, as I looked at this picture, it struck me that perhaps this was an apt metaphor for leadership, thus today's title and content for this blog.

I have never had to be in the path of a real tornado, but have viewed the aftermath of one.  The destruction they can cause is unbelievable, including loss of life for members of the community.  What I do know is that tornadoes often appear with little warning, it is difficult to determine in exactly what direction they might head, and there is nothing that can be done to mitigate the loss of property when one hits directly.  All you should do when a tornado appears is to take appropriate shelter and pray for the best.

It seems unfair to compare a real-life tornado with what might happen in an organization, yet it is a term that is often used, with such phrases as "it looks like a tornado went through here," or "that person is reeking havoc just like a tornado."  Just as a tornado comes on suddenly with an unknown path and great destruction, the same can happen  when people behave badly or external circumstances impact an organization.  What can leaders do in such situations?  Here are a few thoughts:

• hang on for the ride - just as we cannot "tame" a real tornado, it is impossible to tame people or external forces
• shelter down - sometimes you need to get yourself and others out of the way of the destruction and wait it out until the storm passes over...keep everyone safe
• prepare ahead of time - just as those who live in tornado alleys, think ahead what you will do if and when disruption hits your organization..  How will you handle a situation over which you have little or no control?  What kind of "sheltering" is in place for your employees
• hold a "tornado" drill - talking about what you will do, and having people think through certain situations may help in not catching you unaware when disaster strikes
• expect tornadoes to happen - it is often not a question of "if" but rather of "when."  Organizations will go through turbulent times, so don't think you are safe just because nothing has happened for a while
• Be ready for the clean up - after disaster hits, it's time to clean up and recover.  Ask for help, get all hands on deck, and know that in time life will return to normal.

I hope and pray that the destruction that happens as a result of a real tornado does not happen to anyone's organization...and I know that it will happen in time.  How you think about it, how you prepare for it, and how you react to it will make all the difference in the world.  Get ready to hug that next tornado!