the one question

Excuse the shortness of this blog, but I still only have one hand with which to type...


Yesterday,I had the opportunity to interview Gerard Arpey, CEO of American Airlines as a part of our speaker series on campus. It was an amazing event - packed auditorium, great discussion (his pastor joined him for a dialogue on faith & work), and a overall feeling that we were doing something good and right. Prior to the event, I challenged some students and faculty to consider what question they would ask Mr. Arpey if they had several minutes alone with him. This is actually a harder exercise than one may think - so...


If you came face-to-face with a leader whom you admire; or someone who leads a large organization; or a person of great influence in your community; or?????? what would you ask them? Remember, you only get one question and only a few minutes with this person.

So think about your ONE question...write it down...memorize it...and be ready to use it. You may even want to practice it with a friend (their answer might lead to an interesting dialogue).

what?

I was at The Blue Hill Book Store the other day and picked up a curious little book entitled What? written by Mark Kurlansky (whose 1968 and Cod I just loved). In previous blogs, I have extolled the importance of asking good questions, and how the role of the leader is to be one who consistently asks good questions of both themself and others. If that is the case, then this book might just be the bible on leadership, for it is a short book that is written in nothing but questions (even the table of contents and the index are written as questions).

The art of asking questions is critical to the learning process...and leadership is about learning. Whether it is learning about one's self...learning about the organization...learning about other people...or learning about leadership - learning begins with questions. In one of the textbooks used in our Introduction to Business course at Concordia University Texas, the statement is made that the more one learns, the more questions they ask, and the more questions they ask, the more they learn. I often challenge my students and others with whom I work to figure out their question to comment ratio in any given day. This book takes it to the extreme: 100% questions to zero comments. Here are a few of the questions asked by the author:

• In a world that seems devoid of absolute certainties, how can we make declarative statements?



• If it is amportant to ask questions, is it equally important to answer them? Doesn't questioning have its own value?



• What is at the heart of intellectual pursuit? Is it "what?" If so , shouldn't the previous sentence be read as a statement?



• Is a question always a search for an answer?



• Shouldn't we distrust an answer that comes without a question?

Of course, the book is much more than these few questions noted here, as the "chapters" flow from one idea (or series of question) into the other. Perhaps what struck me most about the book is it's ability to do nothing than ask questions, and still engage me in a learning process. Of course, that is how I am wired. Are you wired in a similar way? Have you considered your question to statement ratio lately? Why might questions be so important to thsi author? And should they be that important to you? How do others react when you do nothing other than ask questions? Will they be satisfied that they are not getting "answers" from you? Can one be considered a leader if they only ask questions? And what are the important questions that leaders should be asking?

Is this the end of this blog? Or will you continue it by raising even more questions about how leaders lead by asking questions?

two heads are better...

Last week's post on convening people brought a few comments from others, mostly in terms of how important it is to be able to have the power and authority to do so. Within an organization, there are few people who can say to a random group, "let's get together to solve this issue," and have everyone show up. However, there is nothing that can keep two people from meeting over lunch or breakfast or even in the hallway to problem solve and think through issues. My mom always used to tell me that "two heads are better than one," and I think I am beginning to believe her.

This past week has been a seies of "two-headed" meetings. I took a trip to Houston to meet with friends of the Univeristy where I was able to pick their brains and ask for advice...I had lunch with an Advisory Board member where we brainstormed on different ways of mentoring students...I then met with a colleague over a glass of beer to flesh out the details of an upcoming training. Each meeting produced great ideas and much better results than if I had tried to figure out the issues by myself. Which again reminded me that two heads really are better than one.

The picture of the "lonely leader" at the top does not need to be a reality in today's world. While many still hold to the fallacy that the leader has all the answers, more and more people understand the importance of collaboration and bringing ideas together from multiple resources. I have found that people like to be asked their ideas - and if framed in such a way that their ideas really do matter, they are ready to contribute their best thinking. And that's the key to bringing two heads together - making sure that it is not a one-way conversation, but truly a bringing together of the minds. How can that be done? Read on...

• Someone needs to initiate the conversation - is there a problem that needs to be solved? Go and find someone and ask their opinion on it.
• Before asking someone their opinion, consider the question you want to ask - be sure that the question appropriately frames the problem so that the answers you get are actually directed to your problem (beware that this may be the most difficult part of this process - asking the RIGHT question is the key to getting the right answer).
• Find an appropriate time - set an appointment, or take them to lunch, or meet them for a cup of coffee, or if you happen to see them in the hallway, graciously ask if they have 10 minutes to give you. What you need at this point is undivided attention.
• Begin the conversation by setting the context - a question asked without context might provide an answer that doesn't get at the heart of the issue. Tell your story - what was it that led up to the question you are asking. Don't expect the other person to be familiar with your particular situation.
• After asking the quetion, shut up and listen. The other person may need some time to formulate their ideas - graciously give them that time without filling in the dead space - you may even say to them, "take your time and think - I am in no rush."
• As the conversation progresses, you may want to offer a few of your own ideas, which will a) spark new ideas with them; or b) confirm your own thinking on the matter. A naturally flowing conversation can lead to some great thinking over time.
• Take written notes - for two reasons: 1) it helps you to remember what they are saying and any action items you might need to follow up on; and 2) it says to the other person that what they are saying is important enough for you to write down.
• When all is said and done, be sure to thank the person. A note the next day is also very much appreciated. And if you implement their idea, be sure to send another note letting them know what has happened and that without the time they gave you, it may never have come to fruition.

I know that there will be many times people have to make decisions on their own...when the time crunch will force only your own best thinking...when the decision has to be made by the one person in charge...when the privacy of the matter allows for little if any interaction with others. But for me, it has always been better to ask others their opinions and thoughts...because what my mother told me is true - two heads really are better than one.

the ultimate question - WHY?

I ran several meetings this week that focused on one question - WHY? These meetings were the first gatherings of these groups, and so in order to move forward in our charge, we needed to understand the importance of what we were doing. And so I began with the question - WHY are we being asked to do this? WHY is this important enough to spend our time on? WHY should we even think about engaging in this task?

This was not an easy question to answer for the groups - they wanted to dive right into operations and tactics...they wanted to debate the merits of doing things one way or another...they wanted to push their agendas and pet projects. My job as the leader of the group was to keep asking the ultimate question - WHY? When someone brought up a tactical maneuver, I asked them WHY that was an important thing to consider...when someone began debating the merits of one goal or another, I asked them to defend their opinions by describing WHY their way was better in meeting the charge of the team...when they would answer the first WHY question, I almost always came back and asked again WHY that specific idea would be important. Yes, it drove them crazy, but by the end of the meetings, we had several AHA! moments.

Thsi is also the question I teach my students to ask, as it helps to develop them into critical thinkers. Asking WHY something is so...asking WHY people believe one way and not another...asking WHY certain events took place...asking WHY they themselves (as students) believe certain things...even asking WHY they need to study and learn specific subjects and subject matter - all of these are important in shaping them a fully functional human beings and lifelong learners.

As leaders, one of our jobs is to help people see the big picture - to help them understand the importance of the work in which they are engaged - to help them keep the mission and vision in mind - and to assist them in their own leadership development. I believe that one of the easiest ways to do this is to teach them how to ask the ultimate question - WHY?

So before you leave this blog, ask yourself WHY I might have chosen to write about this particular topic today - WHY you either agree or disagree with this premise - and WHY you even spent the last few minutes reading this post.

question - or statement?

One of the things that truly annoys me is when someone asks a question - but it is really a statement of what they believe. You know the type of question I am thinking about:

• Don't you think it's better if __________________?
• Could you explain to me why _________________?
• I'm wondering why they ____________________?

I really wish people would turn these questions into statements that would more accurately reflect their thoughts:

• I believe it would be better if _________________.
• I'm angry about __________________________.
• It looks as if they _________________________.

What would be even better is if these same people could make their statement of belief, and then ask a follow up question that would lead to understanding and dialogue:

• I believe it would be better if _________________; how do you see the situation?
• I'm angry about __________________________; are you in a position to explain to me how this happened?
• It looks as if they _________________________; I'm wondering if you could explain the reasons behind their decision.

Questions - posed correectly - can be powerful tools in coming to an understanding of people and events. I sat in an interview the other day and wanted to understand what the individual was passionate about and what was their so-called line in the sand. I struggled to word the question (I DID NOT want to ask, "tell me what you are passionate about?" or "tell me what your line in the sand is?"). So I carefully worded my question as "tell me about a time that you lost it and became very angry over an incident." The response told me exactly what I wanted to know - and gave great insight into the HEART of this person.

Next time you get ready to ask a question, consider these few items:

1. do you already know the answer you want to hear? if so, there's no need to ask the question
2. is the question more of a statment of what you believe? if so, state it in a declarative form
3. what do you really want to know? think hard about that before asking your question
4. will the question move the conversation forward - or put up someone's defensive nature?
5. how does this question fit within the context of what is being discussed at the given moment?

A final thought: if, at the end of the day, you were to do a tally of questions asked and statements made, which one would have the greater number? Consider that question as you go through this day - and the difference it makes depending on which side the scale falls.

young leaders

I am thinkng these days about creating an advisory board made up entirely of people under thirty. As I have recently celebrated year 50 of my own life, that seems like a long time ago. What was I thinking back then? What (and who) shaped my opinions? Was I more influenced by my past than I am now (or vice-versa)? How did I lead? Did I lead? Or was I merely moving along a path of which I had no clue?

That being said, I believe it is incredibly important to engage young people in discussion of leadership and organizational development. My current advisory board met several weeks ago and we had a wodnerful discussion on what the future of the College of Business at Concordia University Texas holds - but everyone (for the most part) around the table was of my generation or the one before me. What does this generation of those under 30 think about when it come to Concordia's mission of developing Christian leaders?

We often discuss mentoring as if a mentor needs to be older and wiser. Could it be that those who are younger and more foolish (as my mother used to say of me) are really the ones with the right questions? Does their perspective make more sense in today's world? Are they actually closer to the situation (i.e. college students), having a better understanding of the needs, desires and wants of those we serve? Could it be that the leaders of tomorrow need to be shaped by their peers rather than those who have been leading for a long time? How do we solve the problems of today if we listen to those who have led us into those problems?

So what do you think? Does an advisory board of those under 30 make sense? What type of role might they play for me and my organization? How would I use their knowledge and skills? With what type of questions should they be engaged? And what might meetings of this group look like?

If you have thoughts or answers, let me know - I'm ready to engage those who are young and foolish...or incredibly intelligent with the answers that are needed for developing today's leaders.

the right question

Leaders know how to ask the right questions. Our picture of leaders is often the one standing up front, making a speech or telling people what to do, and acting all "charismatic." But the leader who wants real followers will be the one asking questions, often from the back of the room, and listening deeply to the answers.

So what's the key to asking the RIGHT questions? A few thoughts:

1. know what you want as a result of the answers - what is the outcome you (or others) want to have achieved as a result of the time together.
2. believe deeply that others have good answers to give - if you are only asking questions to make people FEEL as if they have a part, the questions will be formed and asked half-heartedly...and the answers wil reflect the same.
3. know your audience - prepare ahead of time by learning about and understanding the person/people with whom you will be talking.
4. think through the questions - be sure the questions are actually questions and not statements...word the questions so they have the ability to elicit great responses...make the questions understandable the first time they are asked
5. be ready to go with the flow - if the right questions are asked, you never know what the answers will be, so you need to be able to go where the answers lead...and ask follow up questions based on what you hear
6. LISTEN CAREFULLY - if you ask good questions, you better be able to listen deeply and carefully, because good questions elicit good responses, which cause you as a leader to think and develop new ideas...if you listen carefully
7. trust that the person will be honest in their answers - this is really about being empathetic with the other person/people. If they know you trust them, you become more trustworthy and thus they will be more honest in their answers, leading to a deeper dialogue
8. engage in the dialogue - be willing to be a full participant in the question and answer session. Even though you are the one asking the questions, your full participation can more fully ensure their complete participation
9. have the heart of a learner - questions arise when one is willing to be a learner. You can learn something from anyone, if you are able to ask questions thats elicit good responses

I once told my students that if they learned to ask the right questions they would be considered "gods and goddesses" in their worlds. I believe that the world belongs to those who know how to ask the right questions, and that it is a skill that can be learned. Go ahead and spend the rest of the day being a question asker - and watch people invest more of their lives in you and your leadership.