two sides to everything

As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in Eagle Pass, Texas less than 1/2 mile from the border with Mexico. I am here on a trip with a group of our students sudying international business management. This is the fourth year in a row we have come to this place, and each time I learn a little bit more about what life is like "on the other side." I have come to love and embrace the "border" mentality, where there is really not two distinct towns but one fused community, with a river running between them. As I listen to the people and watch the interactions, I am reminded how two very different cultures can work together to support each other economically and socially...and the stuggles that also go with those differences.
So what might that mean for organizations - and individual relationships? How can we as leaders embrace the "two sides" mentality toward greater organizational performance? Here are a few thoughts that cross my mind on an early Friday morning:

1. when people are on two different sides, there views are going to be different. Listening to what the person on the opposite side sees helps you better understand the area in which you are standing (remember, they see it different from you). Appreciate what the other person sees (and says) and learn frm what they are saying (and seeing).
2. here on the border, each side carries a different world view...not only do they see something different, they interpret what they see thorugh a different lense than the other person. Appreciating the history, culture, and lifestyle of each side helps to interpret what that person is seeing (and saying). Keep that in mind as you listen and respond.
3. remember that history is often written from the view of the people who win. If I view Mexican life through a lens that says "we won" then I will see things different than if I view Mexican life as a culture and tradition that was present in this part of the country centuries before America even existed. Putting "the other side" in perspective helps me understand the other perspective and keeps me from seeing everything though a win/lose proposition.
4. I really like Mexican food, and nobody makes Mexican food better than Mexicans. What is it about the other side without which I would find it difficult to live ? Seeing the positive in others and their ideas helps to bring people (and groups) together.
5. putting up walls only makes people angry - while there are those who think that walls can be used for protection, no one close to the wall ever benefits from them. Walls say "stay away" and "we do not want you." Are you a person who tears down walls - or puts more of them up?
6. as I travel over to Piedras Negras, I come into contact with the unfamiliar, and for me, that is very exciting. What is it about "the other side" that might be exciting to you? Where can you find joy in the unfamiliar and perhaps even a little scary? What are you willing to risk in order to discover something new? Embracing the unfamiliar enriches one's leadership and enhances an organization

I would invite you to discover this wonderful pair of towns on the Texas border known as Eagle Pass and Piedras Negras. I love the people here - and I love coming to a place where I can learn more about others - and I can learn more about myself. And isn't that what leadership is all about?

people who drive me crazy

Think about the people who drive you crazy...not the TYPE of people who drive you crazy, but the ACTUAL people who drive you crazy. Go ahead and name them outloud for a moment (or not, depending on where you are reading this...it could get you in trouble). But for a moment, consider a few thoughts on the people who drive you crazy:

• WHY do these people drive me crazy?
• Are they REALLY so different from me - or maybe too much alike?
• Does their BEHAVIOR push me out of my comfort zone?
• Is it a VALUE issue...or is it a PERSONALITY issue?
• What can I LEARN from these people?
• What are the PATTERNS among the different people who drive me crazy - both today and in the past?

As I consider the different people who drive me crazy, several things become apparent very quickly:

1. their strengths are very different from mine
2. they tend to not back away from conflict
3. they seem to spend more time at their desks than walking around and talking with people
4. they would rather talk about operational approaches rather than strategic approaches
5. they tend to see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full
6. they would rather blame others than take on the responsibility for change
7. they make more statements than they ask questions

The difficult part of making this list is that I have to come to the realization that each of the above behaviors can be a great advantage to an organization:

1. different strengths allow for different ways of looking at the same issue
2. ideas need to be challenged in a strong manner
3. data needs to be collected and shared, which takes time to put together
4. things need to get done - vision without action is only a dream
5. the realities of the organization need to be named and talked about
6. people who mess up need to take responsibility for their bad work
7. decisions need to be made after asking the right questions

OK, I get the point. I understand that it's good if there are people in the organization who drive me crazy. I may not understand how they think...I may not like how they act...I can disagree with their behaviors and attitudes...but I need to embrace them as important to the organization and try my hardest to work with them. Here's to those who drive me - and you - crazy!

dealing with difficult moments

Leaders will have their share of difficult moments. In my area as Dean of a College, I have difficult moment with students, faculty, administrators, alumni, parents, and even colleagues. The good news is these difficult moments are often few and far between. The bad news is that they are REALLY difficult. What makes them difficult is that they always involve people, and people are hard to deal with. Why is that?

• People are like you and me - when we look into their faces or hear their voices, we are seeing or hearing ourselves.


• We want people to like us - and when we face difficult moments with them, we are probably saying things they do not like to hear...which means they may not like us.


• Difficult moments mostly involve people when they are at their most vulnerable state, and the last thing we want to do is hurt people even more.


• What we perceive as a problem may not look like a problem to the people with whom we are dealing, so we start off on different pages. Having to explain the problem to someone else is often the hardest part of starting the difficult conversation.


• For me, there is always a gnawing voice in the back of my head saying that I might be wrong...and I begin second guessing myself.

While difficult moments are difficult, part of the role of a leader is to confront problems and deal with those difficult moments. If the leader shirks that responsibility, then they are not fulfilling their role as leader. So what might be some ways to deal with difficult moments and perhaps make them slightly less difficult?

• Deal with them right away - the longer one lets the issue go, the harder it is to confront the individual with the problem


• Know exactly what you are going to say in the moment - take some time to think through and write out what you want to say to the person before you begin the conversation


• Approach the situation with the understanding that you MIGHT be wrong - that thought pattern can remove any attitude of superiority and put the two of you on more equal footing


• In the conversation, provide a way and time for the other person to admit their role in the problem and make restiution - if you do all of the talking, it will put the other person in an even more defensive mode


• Realize that you are doing your job, and no one else can do it for you - this is why you were put in the leadership role, so do it and do it well. You may or may not win friends in the process, but what you are doing is strengthening and building the organization and its mission


• Don't dwell on the issue - state what the problem is, ask a few questions, note the consequences if warranted, and stop. If the person responds, there is then room for dialogue with the two of you. If not, then the conversation is over. Be sure to check for understanding before the conversation is finished.


• Follow up - an email or note after the difficult moment helps to make sure that both parties understand what happened and leaves a paper trail.


• Move on - a difficult moment is just that...A MOMENT. Once it is over, it is over, and both parties can move on with their work. Don't take it personally, and don't hold a grudge. On the other hand, there is no need to go out of your way to "fix" the relationship or issue right away. Let it take care of itself over time.

And finally, remember not to make a mountain out of a molehill. Much of what we might perceive as a difficult moment may be nothing more than a blip on the screen for the other person. What keeps me awake at night may not keep someone else awake at night, and I have to accept that fact. Yet another hazard of leadership.

A final note - while I never enjoy the difficult moments, I always feel a sense of accomplishment when I have dealt with the issues and the people. Perhaps that has to do with the realization that I am actually doing my job...and doing those things that only leaders can do. And that's a good thing.

busy!

Don't you hate hearing the excuse from people who say to you, "I'm too busy." When I hear that, I have to consider the fact that this person, like myself and every other person in the world, has 24 hours in any given day to accomplish the tasks set before them. "I'm too busy" may merely be a substitute for other issues that have clogged someone's calendar or interfered with what should be most important in one's calling and vocation. Let's explore some of the reasons why people assume they might be too busy...

• not organized - the inability to order and prioritze the multiple tasks one has does not mean one is too busy...it means they are unorganized!
• distracted - there are lots of things in life that MIGHT seem more important or more fun. These people are not too busy...they are not focused!
• inability to say NO - busy people are people who get things done, and will be asked to do more. They are also people who tend to say YES to everything. These people are never too busy...they just have not said NO for awhile!
• like to complain - it seems good and right to always say one is too busy - they may even wear it as a badge of honor. These people are not too busy...they just want everyone else to think they are important!
• work in an unhealthy environment - there are places that might demand too much of their people and expect work to be done in unimagineable amounts and timelines. These people are not too busy - they are not in a position to either manage their own work, say NO, or quit!
• poor processes - if it takes 6 hours to do a job that could be done in 3, it might be that the process one uses is faulty. These people are not too busy...they are slaves to a process that is not a good fit for what they are trying to accomplish.!
• in the wrong vocation - when people are doing what they either do not have the talent to do or do not love to do, it will always seem to them as if they are overwhelmed. They are not too busy...they are in the wrong position!

As leaders, it is easy to get "too busy" or to put others in a position where they get "too busy." How can we keep from getting "too busy" in our work? A few thoughts:

• breathe - literally, take a deep breath when you feel this way, or take a quick walk, and then get after the task with a clearer head and mindset.
• organize - is your desk or file cabinet messy? Does it LOOK like you are too busy? Get rid of the extraneous "stuff" that you no longer need and let your work space reflect a life that is never "too busy."
• learn to say NO - next time someone asks you to do something, or an opportunity comes across your desk, ask yourself if by doing that project or going to that conference will really help you move forward in your job, mission, or life. If the answer is YES, realize that you may have to let something else go in order to make the new project happen. If NO, then politely say NO or throw the flyer away.
• turn the sound off on your computer -you do not need to know when every email arrives. What if the post office delivered letters and journals to your office every 20 minutes or so? You would get irritated. Treat your email the same way. Decide at which times of day you are going to answer your emails. (May I suggest early morning and later afternoon?).
• check you ego - go deep and ask yourself why you feel so busy. If it has to do more with who you are that what you do, then make a decision to engage in a different thought pattern and a different way of answering people when they ask how you are doing. Next time, instead of saying, "I'm too busy," respond with a phrase that talks about the importance of your work or how much you are accomplishing.

This list could go on and on - and there are many books to help one get organized and have more control of thier lives. Leaders need to have control, because so much around them is out of control. While many of us thrive on the compliment "You look so busy," perhaps we should arrange our lives so that people say to us," It looks as if you have nothing to do," while deep inside they know (and so do we) that great things are happening because of us!

meetings, meetings, meeting

Yesterday I sat through three different meetings, all of which were valuable and enjoyable. I am one of the few people I know who actually enjoy meetings - well, at least those that accomplish something. People in a position of leadership need to meet - they need to be calling meetings and they need to be attending meetings. If you are invited to a meeting, by all means GO to that meeting - how else can you have any type of influence. It just hit me that the ones who often complain the loudest are the same ones who never attend meetings...or at least never speak up at meetings (there are exceptions - those who speak up at meetings (read "complain") and never offer solutions).
So if we are spending our time in meetings, we might as well make them the best meetings possible - whether we call the meetings or whether we are attendees. Here are a couple of suggestions for those of us who run meetings:

1. always have an agenda - and if at all possible send it out ahead of time. Wouldn't life be wonderful if everyone who attended meetings came prepared? Pre-planned agendas allow for that to happen.
2. always have a purpose for the meeting - of course, that purpose will shape the agenda, so maybe this should be #1. Wouldn't life be wonderful if at the end of every meeting all the participants could say "we accomplished our purpose."
3. always start and end on time - people's time is valuable. Sometime add up the cost of a meeting you are in by figuring out the hourly salary for each person in the room...you get the idea. Wouldn't life be wonderful if at the end of every meeting people could say "that was really worth our time and effort!"
4. always engage everyone in the room - remember that the meetings is not yours alone - it should belong to the group of people assembled...they should own it as well as you. Of course, they can't own it without an agenda and a purpose, and they need to be prepared. Expect people to come prepared and hold them accountable. Wouldn't life be wonderful if everyone always came to meetings with something to talk about and add to the discussion.
5. create an atmosphere of trust - nothing can be worse than sitting in a meeting on "pins and needles" wondering what bomb is going to go off next - or whether people can say what is really on their minds. As a meeting leader, sometimes you may need to pause and ask, "is there anything else that needs to be said?" and then be quiet. Wouldn't life be wonderful if everyone could speak their mind at meetings - in a way that is honest, true and respectful of those around the table?

A quick word to those who attend meetings but may not be in charge of the agenda and purpose - you still have a crucial role in making meetings productive and valuable. A quick list for meeting attendees:

• prepare - read the agenda, do your homework, and come with questions. If there is no agenda published, assume what the agenda will be and come with the approriate materials
• take notes - that way you will follow up with what needs to be done and you come to the next meeting with a list of things talked about and decided on by the group
• ask questions - try to get the group to go deeper on subjects by asking questions about the topic at hand
• stay awake and alert - if that means standing up and/or getting a cup of coffee, do so unabashedly
• share humor - nothing creates a sense of camaraderie more quickly than laughter. Feel free to insert a joke here and there
• offer your opinion - if attendees do not talk, then the leader will fill the void...and nothing is worse than a meeting where only one person talks
• set the tone (1) - get there early and engage with people in the room. If people are talking with one another before the meeting begins, chances are they will keep talking during the meeting
• set the tone (2) - if you are in a situation where it is approriate, offer to begin with a prayer or blessing. If you cannot do that, offer to share an idea you recently heard - and then ask others what they think about it. Five minutes of discussion around something other than the agenda buidls trust among the group members, allowing them to be more open during the meeting

WOW! 8 ways to influence meetings even if you are not in charge. Go ahead - try it sometime - and see what can happen as you influence meetings toward a greater good. And be sure to read Death by Meeting: A leadership fable to solve the most painful problem in business by Patrick Lencioni. It is a MUST read for those of us who lead - and attend - meetings.

understanding greatness

Have you ever noticed the number of books that claim to talk about "the greatest___________ of all time?" It could be the greatest leaders, the greatest homerun hitters, the greatest chefs...whatever noun one wants to put behind the adjective, there seems to be no shortage of "the greatest" in any category. My question is - how does one decide who is the greatest...and what makes them so?

I suppose that all of us would in some shape or fashion want to be known as "the greatest" in some area of our lives. We may not be the greatest of all times and places (Hank Aaron is still the greatest home run hitter of all time in my book), but we could be known in our little corners of the world as "the greatest" - could I ever be known as "the greatest Dean of Business at Concordia University in the first decade of the 2000s?" I suppose that when you are the only one within any given category, you can declare yourself to be anything you want - but what does it REALLY mean to be the greatest?

Christians often offer up the passage from the Bible where Jesus says to his disciples, "if you want to be the greatest, then you must be a servant (Matthew 23:11). So may people misunderstand this idea of greatness, and consequently put themselves at a disadvantage to ever accomplish great things. They see the role of servant as soft and quiet...they consistently never take the lead...they struggle to stand up and make their ideas known...they have little influence because their world is too small. They will never be known as "the greatest" at anything becasue they refuse to truly serve others and the Kingdom.

So how can we, especially those of us who are Christian, understand greatness? A few thoughts to contemplate:

• greatness begins with WHO ONE IS - do you know yourself well enough and comfortable with who you are to do that which you are called and wired to do?
• greatness is about ACTION - no one can be called "the greatest" if they don't do anything. Sitting around contemplating great ideas - and not putting them into action - cannot be considered greatness
• greatness is about WINNING - no matter how many times Thomas Edison failed, if he had never gotten around to actually inventing a light bulb that worked, no one would know of him today. 1000 failures and 1 win can lead to greatness...1001 failures with NO wins leaves you in the dust
• greatness is about OTHERS - it's difficult to be great all by yourself. Locked in a room for my entire life, I can be the greatest at anything in my own domain. However, to truly be great, one has to engage with others and include others and learn from others and mentor others and share with others and help others and...
• greatness is about INFLUENCE - Muhammed Ali is the greatest because he changed a generation of sports fans...Hank Aaaron is the greatest becasue he will always have more influence than Barry Bonds...Abraham Lincoln was the greatest because his words and ideas continue to influence people's leadership (does anyone remember a speech Calvin Coolidge ever gave?)
• greatness is about SERVING - looking at all the above aspects of greatness, it really is about being a servant - but a servant who lifts others up...a servant who builds capacity in others...a servant who undertands the big picture...a servant who works hard and long hours...a servant who makes others healthier, wiser, more free, and more autonomous (see Robert Greenleaf, Servant Leadership, 1977).

So how about you - are you the greatest? You might just be...so don't shirk the mantle. Be great! Lead! Influence! Make a difference! Change the world! Be the person God has intended for you to be!

thoughts from others...

I spent last Thursday and Friday at the Catalyst Conference, a place where young leaders gathered to hear from multiple speakers about leading with a Christian worldview. This was my second year in attendance (I take a group of students each year) and I have to say it is one of the best leadership conferences I have ever had the opportunity to attend. Below are a series of quotes/thoughts/ideas shared by the different presenters that were especailly meaningful to me:

Andy Stanley:

• are you open to what God has next?
• what man is a man who does not leave the world better?
• LEAN your leadership into a need - or into another person
• leaving the mark that has been designed by God for you to leave
• am I willing to submit my gifts and leadership to a bigger picture?
• not a leader in authority, but a leader under authority
• God takes full responsibility for a life wholly devoted to Him (attributed to Charles Stanley)
• I can't go until God tells me its okay to go
• Giving God (& others) maximum access to my leadership capabilities

Jessica Jackley:

• give people ownership - a fundamental shift in life (especially in education)

Malcolm Gladwell:

• incompetence irritates me; overconfidence scares me (one of my favorites)
• Humility: the willingness to stop and listen to others

Mitch Albom:

• faith is not about being IN or OUT - but figuring out what is important

Rob Bell:

• The bush is always burning; the ground is always holy
• Sometimes the crowd thins
• Our work comes from a particular place
• WHY am I building what I am building? Am I letting God build it?

Tony Dungy:

• you don't win every game
• I need to knowthat this relationship is worth fighting for

Matt Chandler:

• seeing repentance as a continuing ethic
• When we hesitate (is it a delay in obedience?) it may be that God is callling us to deeper waters

Priscilla Shirer:

• WHY has God called me to be __________________? And what am I going to do with that?
• Joshua, as a leader: 1) acted immediately; 2) acted fearlessly; 3) acknowledged the presence of God; and 4) anticipated that God would act (Joshua 3: 1-5)
• Help people take the lid off thier box
• Pray prayers that are unthinkable

Dave Ramsey:

• Creat momentum by pouring yourself into your vocation
• You lose focus when you begin to hear the footsteps
• You lose focus when you begin celebrating the results too early
• Intensity leads to excellence
• In the story, the tortoise ALWAYS wins
• What can happen when you decide to pour your life into someone (or something) over a significant amount of time?

Charles Swindoll:

• The Gospel frees us to change the world, i.e. transform communities
• leave room in your life for the crushings